Positive and Purposeful
Active Parenting
The Active Parenting Model is a psychoeducational, skill-based program designed to empower parents with practical strategies for raising cooperative, courageous, and responsible children and teens. It is built on the democratic principles of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs, emphasizing mutual respect, identifying the purpose behind a child's behavior, and using logical and natural consequences instead of punishment.
Who Created Active Parenting?
The Active Parenting Model was created by Dr. Michael Popkin in the early 1980s. Dr. Popkin founded Active Parenting Publishers, Inc., which develops and disseminates comprehensive parenting education programs for various age groups (Popkin, 1983). He adapted the foundational concepts of Individual Psychology (Adlerian theory) into a user-friendly, structured curriculum that could be taught in group settings, making effective parenting techniques accessible to a wide audience.
Perspectives in Active Parenting
The Facilitator/Therapist's Perspective
The Active Parenting facilitator or therapist adopts a psychoeducational and encouraging perspective. They believe that most child misbehavior is driven by a mistaken goal (e.g., undue attention, power, revenge, or assumed inadequacy) and that parents, lacking skills, often respond in ways that reinforce these mistaken goals.
The facilitator's role is to be a teacher and coach who prioritizes:
Understanding Purpose: Helping parents accurately identify the mistaken goal underlying their child's behavior.
Encouragement: Teaching parents how to use encouragement to build their child's self-esteem and courage, rather than using praise that focuses on results.
Non-Punitive Discipline: Guiding parents away from punitive measures toward using logical and natural consequences to teach responsibility.
Democratic Process: Emphasizing the importance of family meetings and mutual respect in solving problems.
The Parent's (Client's) Perspective
The parent shifts from feeling frustrated, helpless, or reactive to feeling competent, confident, and proactive. They stop asking, "How do I make my child behave?" and start asking, "What is my child trying to communicate?"
The parent learns to:
Respond with Insight: Recognize their own emotional triggers and respond calmly to misbehavior by addressing the child's mistaken goal, not just the surface behavior.
Foster Responsibility: Allow the child to experience consequences and learn from their mistakes without parental rescue or nagging.
Build Courage: Focus on the child's efforts and improvements rather than just their achievements, thereby strengthening the child's sense of self-worth.
What to Expect in an Active Parenting Session
Active Parenting is typically delivered in a group class format but the principles are applied in individual therapy sessions as well. Sessions are structured and focus on learning and practicing specific skills.
Skill Introduction: The session introduces a core concept (e.g., using logical consequences, holding a family meeting) often using video or lecture.
Mistaken Goal Identification: Parents are taught to observe their child's reaction to correction and their own feelings in response to determine the child's underlying mistaken goal (Popkin, 2020).
Role-Playing and Practice: Parents practice new responses, such as communicating with "I-Messages" (stating their feeling and the behavior) or setting up a family meeting agenda.
Skill Sheets and Take-Aways: Parents leave with clear handouts summarizing the skills and a commitment to trying the new techniques at home.
The sessions aim to replace the "four roadblocks" to communication (ordering, warning, criticizing, analyzing) with encouraging and connecting responses.
How Active Parenting Can Help a Person
Active Parenting helps adults by equipping them with effective tools that transform the family environment.
Reduces Parental Stress: When parents feel competent and see positive results, their anxiety, anger, and stress levels decrease significantly.
Improves Child Behavior: Consistent application of consequences and encouragement leads to increased child cooperation, self-control, and problem-solving skills.
Fosters Healthy Relationships: The focus on mutual respect and democratic problem-solving strengthens the emotional bond between parents and children.
Breaks Cycles: Parents gain awareness of their own childhood dynamics and consciously choose new, healthier ways of interacting with their children, breaking multigenerational cycles of ineffective discipline.
Common Uses and Applications (DSM-5 Disorders and Life Problems)
Active Parenting is a primary prevention and psychoeducation program, rather than a treatment for a specific DSM-5 disorder. It is highly beneficial for improving family dynamics associated with:
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) or Conduct Disorder (CD): Providing effective discipline techniques that replace conflict with mutual accountability, although professional therapy is required for severe cases.
ADHD: Offering structured, consistent methods for setting limits and managing the behavioral challenges associated with inattention and impulsivity.
Life Problems:
Chronic Parent-Child Conflict: Providing a clear method for reducing arguments and power struggles.
Discipline Inconsistency: Unifying parenting approaches when co-parents disagree.
Low Child Self-Esteem: Teaching the use of encouragement rather than criticism.
References
Corey, G. (2021). Theory and practice of counseling and psychotherapy (11th ed.). Cengage Learning. (Discusses Adlerian concepts used in parenting programs like Active Parenting).
Dreikurs, R., & Soltz, V. (2013). Children: The challenge. Penguin Books. (Original work published 1964).
Popkin, M. (1983). Active parenting: Teaching cooperation, courage, and responsibility. Active Parenting Publishers.
Popkin, M. (2020). Active parenting for ages 5-12. Active Parenting Publishers.
Ready to Transform Your Family Dynamics?
If you are tired of yelling, nagging, or feeling powerless and ready to learn practical skills that build confidence and cooperation in your child, the Active Parenting Model offers a proven path. Connect with one of our therapists who can help you clarify your family values and empower you with Active Parenting strategies.
